up, up and away!

every have those dreams where you are flying? looks like someone had one and made it into a cool little universe...

Why ask why?

For those of you with good questions, here is a place for you to feel at home. Props to DD and BS (yes those are her real initials) for sending it through.

I've gleaned a sample for your daily intake of irony:

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?
Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?
If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
Why is Bra singular and Panties plural?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
Do pigs pull ham strings?
If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

a hole in the ground - now only half price

In time for the holidays, a cemetary in Greenwood SC is having a sale on their plots. The manager says that "Half off of a cemetery space is a good bargain."

I say they should advertise it as a two for one sale:

Car crash? Suicide pact? Lover's quarrel with shotguns? No problem!

Bury two loved ones for the price of one at GMGM, but only for a limited time.
(Plots are not guaranteed to be side by side)

DeadEasy(tm) Credit available. No co-signers or credit references necessary. Se habla espanol.

So come down and see us on the green side of Greenwood...

a second spectacular specular

this posie was sent to me:


A man went to the zoo
There was only a dog there
It was a shitzu

wandering around didn't take long, he thought

It was a shitzu
There was only a dog there
A man went to the zoo

specular speculoid

A specular poem...where the second half of the poem unfolds.. like a mirror image of the first, using the lines in the reverse order....


settling in

i let your call go to voicemail
call-waiting is a boon to the timid
refusing to talk, not wanting to fail
i spent the day putting away my things

cardboard boxes dissolve into trash
rash choices crumpled like paper
half of which i left behind
like the days i wasted waiting for your smile.

the garage shelves are stacked with old files

like the days i wasted waiting for your smile
half of which i left behind
rash choices crumpled like paper
cardboard boxes dissolve into trash

i spent the day putting away my things
refusing to talk, not wanting to fail
call-waiting is a boon to the timid
i let your call go to voicemail.

Chapter Seven

I.
I spent nights over cups of coffee
Laughing at the way my skin inches down
Watching the late acts in wayward bars
The bare stragglers choking on smoke
Dull eyed, black eyed, christened by the dead
Dreams of endless head and breasts
In electric reproduction sucked by red globes
Bare lobes distressed with guitar distortion
The motion of living drawn from each drag
Fags with fags gagging on virtual cocks
Beneath Big Al’s socks and the serpent,
Rome’s steps only seconds away

II.
Chinese steam huffs through beaten doorways
Where sideways Asian looks mingle with frying duck
And cheap goods fuck in garish display.
I strayed far from the main road
Walking like a folding chair
John street, Bush street
Up Nob hill and down again.
Victorian buildings stacked like dominoes,
Casual hoes displaying their wares,
Popping pills with low stares, strutting slow.
They catcall me and I know their bodies,
I know their souls,
Sagged and shrinking, sucked at by coffins
Promises of nothing, often,
Followed by leers of grief and sorrow
Their legs are borrowed and thrown aside
The Seeing Eye stuffed into their damp brassieres.

III.
O’Farrell playbills decorate abandoned walls
By the beggars sleeping in cardboard stalls
The pall of filth living their creases
The city lives in patches of grime
Smeared by time over pieces of sleeping bags used as coats
And coats used as shirts
And shirts as rags for their feet.
Bums hold out their hands and I look at them blind.

IV.
My soul is an island

V.
Shame grows in dark pools on Market Street
As cars choke the artery with eyes glowing
Always flowing in a huddle against the unknown hurt outside
Strangers never meet and part ways forever.
Humans enjoy a good slide
Until they hit the dirt.

VI.
I take my ride and leave by the east bridge.
The ridge of hills is the refuge
I refuse to leave behind.
The Caldecott hole is orange and warm
And already I feel clean
With the murky bay behind me.

VII.
I spent nights over cups of coffee
Laughing at the way my skin inches down
To the dark town, the dirty town
Where promises of nothing are often kept
Close to the yellow fog
That circles the city like a crown.

pens and pen aunts and pennance

Some days I don’t want my friends or these ligaments that bind me
Religion finds me under the pew by the worn shoes of parishioners.
Smelling of fish and stained with blood
Wishing Jesus saved the good chewing gum and crumbs
Crushed by the shuffle of soles
Wet with drips holy water
Pressed through the holes ripped in pant knees
Stone on thin skin under bone
By the shiny feet of daughters and sons
Who get dragged to the dogma house and can't leave.

I grieve for the lost days spent confined in the confessional
Heavy hands on my shoulders
Waiting for the guilt to disrobe me.

Kasakhstan vs Borat

It looks like Sacha Cohen has finally upset a government with his Kazakh host persona, Borat. Kazakhstan is threatening to take him to court after he hosted the MTV Europe music awards this month. An excerpt from the article states:

"We do not rule out that Mr. Cohen is serving someone's political order designed to present Kazakhstan and its people in a derogatory way," Kazakh Foreign Ministry spokesman Yerzhan Ashykbayev told a news briefing.

Political order? Borat? Puhleeeeeeeeeze.....

Well, I am a Guy After All

Here's an interesting story about our asian compatriots building a better brassiere. And the picture isn't too bad either...

fun with one-upmanship

after a bit of looking around i found this great animated video from the indy brit band "nizlopi" just to prove i'm a big commercial music hater. it was done by the same people who did the radiohead clip below. the song is pretty cool with bluegrass roots and clean pop leanings. wow - i should become a big freaky music reviewer as well as a megastar rapper.

you better look out buggasg
ain't no stoppin' my rapper mc
i'm cool to the touch and hot on the mike
all you poser homies better get on your bike...

Allah the Humorist

I have to applaud these guys for not only upholding their Muslim culture, but making light of it as well...

A Creep Deep in Despair (my how his hair is thin)

I used to be a big fan of Radiohead - well I still am, just the albums up to 'OK Computer'. Okay, so I'm a conformist pop creep with only moderate intrinsic avant-garde artistic tendencies. I admit it. I secretly admire the staying power of Madonna and still enjoy Green Day despite their frequent rotations on top 40 stations. Actually, if it weren't for my friend BuggaSG and his indy, sub-pop, "found this rare import version of Brassneck from The Wedding Present's Bizzarro album while scouring the used cd section at Amoeba Music" type of influence, I would be totally uninteresting musically.

So without further ado, I present to you a really cool animation set to the acoustic version of Radiohead's "Creep". Props to SF for his link (though i think buggasg posted it first - dang!)

Progeny

My daughter is a simulacrum of me.
Enough dark hair and olive skin
For strangers to say to my wife
“Is her dad Italian?’
When she walks with her down Mt Diablo Boulevard
On the way to the store.
My wife with green eyes and red hair
And fair skin and replies,
“How did you know?”
While my daughter waves at them until they smile.

Escape Down Under

As the weather cools down here in the northern hemisphere, it is worth contemplating a sojourn to the southern hemisphere where things are just starting to heat up. For those of you who might consider New Zealand, here is a site that will give you insight into the ways and culture of the sought after Kiwis…

( I especially suggest the “blue” state residents to take a look)

i couldn't...

...aggrandize myself any more than that.

just to counteract my ego, have a look here at something a great deal more relevant.

i know i take for granted my rights that have been hard won by the sacrifice of sincere individuals...

I'm no Flow Ho

I gotta flow like I know how it’s gonna go
Make ‘em think I know
My ass from my elbow
A hawk from a sparrow
Gonna blow muthabuggas away with my prose.
My rhythm, my stylin
My rhymes will start you smilin’ and clapping
Toe tappin’ and jammin’
You’ll say, “who’s that young man taking a stand
Pushing his brand of self made rappin?”
Just me with my lips flappin’
Spittin’ and hoppin’.
Ain’t no stoppin the flow that I know…

Beg me to be Better

Creativity sucks eggs. Yes it’s true.

The quickest way to impress you is to impress your sensibilities, which implies that somehow mine are superior in a particular way. Don’t say “Yes they are” because that’s just smoke and I’m wearing pants.

Creativity is not just an unregulated creative urge. It is structure and discipline, determination and work. What kind of jerk made it that way when I seek immediate gratification, a vacation from my dull reality?

Truly unruly I say. Selfish and cruelly I say.

I say I say I say – I can’t close my eyes and make I go away

My rhymes are scientific, specific
Nothing short of terrific
All the girlies love me
From Atlantic to Pacific.
All the homies try to copy
But they end up looking sloppy
When I kick them in the booty
Cause there’s no one round to stop me…

The Pain in Rain Falls Mainly on the Train

I’m a responsible citizen.

I walk to the train station and join the queues of proletarians who, like me, are objecting to the problem of inflated petrol prices precipitated by perpetual meddling in the political affairs of Middle Eastern peoples by pro-west politicians. We are proud of our civil-service minded gesture as we ourselves save money from the evil of corporate domination. We cycle. We recycle. Michael rows his boat ashore on our island of righteousness. We spawn our own revolution against the system that confines us, tricks us, anesthetizes us, imprisons us.  Do not be wavered by the offers of employee discounts on fuel-hungry SUVs. We save the planet. We wear hemp sandals and compost our green waste. We taste like granola and smell like a joint. We point the finger at corporatocracy and greed. Heed us. Join us. Weave baskets and discover macramé with us. Walk, bike and ride the bus. Vote with your bare feet. We suffer so that others can live. We won’t conform because we are free. Be like us or beware. Don’t buy or wear clothes from the Gap. We are for peace, but we won’t take your crap. We’re ready for the revolution. We will take over by force if necessary. We are on course. Soon the world will be ours and our children will be named Rainbow and Plain.

We take the train, and our pain is mainly felt in the rain.

Revamp Like a Tramp

I've just finished renovating. Tomorrow, I'll buy new furniture.

Deceptacons in Your Tampon

This blog sucks.

Frankly, I hate the idea that I have nothing interesting to put here.

Lets sum up my life:

1. I work in the IT industry - zzzzzzzzzzzzz
2. I'm married - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
3. In my spare time I renovate and watch cable TV -ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

I used to do interesting things like travel and pretend to be a writer. Now things are just uncharacteristicly uniform, a ritualistic rut made for the breadwinner careerslut that I've become.

I look at other people's blogs and at least they have interests and take the time to explore them. Me, I just tend to coast in a haze of fatigue, a butterless white toast life complete with a wife, two kids, and a tendency towards repetitive normalcy.

Some days I want to go away. Others, I want everyone else to go away.

Yes there is pity here, but I'm tired of trying to avoid it. I'm best served critical and self-focussing, enerved by anything unavoidable. People have pointed out my flagellation / masturbation duality, and I used to feel guilty about it. Now I don't care.

Yes, I'm selfish and myopic. Show me a human that doesn't have a degree of selfishness. Anyone who claims to be selfless is automatically a deluded egotistical prick.

Sure there are those who serve something greater than themselves, and more power to them. But every observation, every idea, every absolute law is really just subjective. Righteousness like truth is relative, and short of being God, no one can justify a set of values which claims to be superior.

This is not to say that a person can't live in a way which makes them happier and contented that also increases the happiness and contentment of those around them. This idea is on a path of search and research, view and review. Our understanding of life boils down to experience, faith, and the fruits of the efforts we make.

So whether you're Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Jew, Baha'i, you can still be a hyprocrite, a liar, a thief and a self-serving egotist. As well you can be contented, thoughtful, self-effacing and devoted to your God.

What makes my beliefs better than others? What makes their beliefs better? Who's right and wrong? Let's write a song. I can sing out of key. Me me meeeee!

I didn't intend to grandstand on my soapbox
Or posture like fighting cocks
This is just a vent (I'm not wearing socks)
Oh pox.
My underwear is holy...