The Cost of Fat Airline Passengers

Although it makes perfect sense, a report came out recently which states how much money airlines are having to spend on extra fuel costs to fly overweight passengers. Although the logical thing to do is to charge portly people more than skinny people for airline tickets, chances are they will just offer discounts for those whose poundage is not quite so burdensome...

Poetic Rendering

I posted a poem a little while back called Hobo Humanity. It was fairly talky and unpoetic in traditional terms, even if it expressed an emotion that I felt at the time.

Someone recommended rendering it down into something more poetic, and I gave it a shot. Here is the result:


Hobo Sam

Sam rode in the hay of the box car with the skin of livestock
From Kansas city to Orleans
Nursing the smell of dung from his wool coat
Half asleep rocked by the train
Half awake jolted by the gaps between wrought tracks

Hunger kept him company
His death face appearing
Stubble filling the sunken spaces

Children and spouses were left like stations several stops back
In the days that appeared through cracks in the sliding doors
And the nights that swallowed him whole

He used to hum to pass the time
But he only remembered one chorus of one tune
And the sound of “Oh Suzannah” made him remember the miles
So he stopped and practiced smiling.

Sam rode in the hay from Orleans to Kansas City
Hiding with the sheep
Hands in their dung
Half asleep smothered by wool
Half awake waiting for the doors to open in daylight.

Dysphoric Social Attention Consumption Deficit Anxiety Disorder Discombobulates Consumers

An Australian artist has created a fake drug ironically called "Havidol" to treat Dysphoric Social Attention Consumption Deficit Anxiety Disorder (DSACDAD) as a satire of pharmaceutical ad campaigns, and consumers seem to believe it's a real product for a real illness! The artist, Justine Cooper, was going for a subtle spoof to draw people in and it looks like it worked. You have to wonder though about medication that is available in both tablet and suppository form...


I especially like the disclaimer:

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION
Problems can be avoided if you take HAVIDOL only when you are able to immediately benefit from its effects. To fully benefit from HAVIDOL patients are encouraged to engage in activities requiring exceptional mental, motor, and consumptive coordination. HAVIDOL is not for you if you have abruptly stopped using alcohol or sedatives. Havidol should be taken indefinitely. Side effects may include mood changes, muscle strain, extraordinary thinking, dermal gloss, impulsivity induced consumption, excessive salivation, hair growth, markedly delayed sexual climax, inter-species communication, taste perversion, terminal smile, and oral inflammation. Very rarely users may experience a need to change physicians.
Talk to your doctor about HAVIDOL

I think it says something about our culture when we believe a pill can provide something intangible and inherently spiritual. Do we really believe the right chemical combination in our brains can give us fulfillment?