Friday, March 02, 2007

the pileup

a cow moos a tune
imitating a horn
in the bovine traffic jam
on the grass overpass
noses rammed
bumper to bumper
at the toll gate
methane fumes collecting
in the payment of their blood work

rapture redux

toner tantra photocopies the free world
legalities and clauses shopping at ross
mismatched socks walk the checkerboard corridor
under holy cows and sacred drips

the tea sips under shawls before the wrestling knockdown
top hats circle for the shuffle of expository clowns
channel surfing wipe outs burst the beer keg bubble
college students scrutinize collage covered caramel lumps

hotel hellhole in a bagdad camel hump shootout
silent speaker phones stare blown out by psychoactive candles
brass band shindigs gang banging the tuba tube sock baseline
base camp assaults on a contraband blasting cap

derelict dumpster hauls lost in the kabala junk heap
celebrity death wishes caught in the crossfire suicide pact
actors benign motions masturbate corporate riff-raff financiers
spliff smoke chokes the eyesore split screen slow-mo replay

half a day is enough to scuff the shoe black newness from your chaps

maitre'd handshakes the clambake smoke of the guest check replay
levitating the cinder block off your leather high backed excuse
expletive greed grabs words right out of my cerebellum
leaving lily pad liftoffs floating in the frog pond graveyard

cut to commercial

scene 1 ext day - outside jelly mold's home

Theme Song:
happy happy happy hoppy
hoppy hoppy hoppy hoop
sappy sappy sappy soppy
soppy soppy soppy soup
pappy pappy pappy poppy
poppy poppy poppy poop

Fade in:

Bunny suited underpaid actor jumps perkily toward the candy cane gate
wicker basket full of pastel eggs
and flicks the sugar door latch and scratches his rabbit crotch
crocheted curtains part to show the pseudo-plucky girl in a pigtails stare and roll her eyes

POV hothoused rabbit suit:

the lolly swirl door opens and girl with blue checkerboard dress and white pinafore
bounces with double-barreled shotgun knockers and circle blush on pale cheeks

Cut to:

Hi! I'm Ronny the Rabbit. You must be Sue!

(chewing gum and twirling it on her thumb)
Uh huh.

Have you been a good girl? I have happy eggs for all the good boys and girls!

Uh huh.

Here. Have a pretty pink one!

Ronnie hands over a large pink egg in his costume mitts to Sue's French manicured paws.
A bit of gum string sticks to his fur.

(non plussed)

(Shaking free of the gum string)
Okay Sue! Have a Happy Super Double-plus Good Easter!

Sue rolls her eyes and closes the door

Cut to:

Ronnie Rabbit in his worn brown costume hopping out the candy gate up the road
He stops and scratches his crotch and turns to wave at Sue in the jelly mold house.

Cut to:
Sue in the window staring up at him and giving him the bird

Cut to:
Ronnie the rabbit shrugging his shoulders and hopping out of frame with the house in the background. Suddenly the house explodes.

Ominous theme music

Fade to black

Kids, never take candy from strangers.
Brought to you by the Department of Homeland Security
And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

the sacred and holy shindig shivers with rapture spasms before the revival
revealing recent conversions to fascist eating ho-ho ho-hums
white comatose pawns come kneeling on the pews perfectly
passing time before the gaggle of gods castoff robe wearers
reviews the guest list gore fest before the brimstone buffet
sashay in the finale theme song segue way to the polywoggle breakdown
simulcast simian hand jobs boggle the syphilitic zoo station

nations have waited for the rim of the sun to trim the firebird mantra
only to be left briquettes from the sons of their plethora

Brought to you by Kingsford charcoal: Lights first. Lights fast.

Stay tuned for Paris Hilton in “Bottoms Up”

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Ask the Fruitcake Lady

The best of a segment of the Tonight Show where a nonagenarian dishes out advice to her less experienced viewers...

Monday, February 26, 2007

headline hangover

flagging words flap in political filibusters
the ripple of data distillers and economic effervescence
slaps paper handshakes folded on paper stands
guttural rubbish runs parallel to the curb
only disturbed by street walkers washing in troths of chewed cud
music bakeries wafting notes in the chill cacophony
the warm shiver of art on a sliver of concrete
make for contralto breakfast before the news breakdown
in the town of hard-ons and come downs
the phalluses of glass and steel protruding and teeming
pointing to a sky that stares vacantly blue.

morning arrival

we barely move in the aluminum tube
rebreathing the air of hundreds before
and when the doors slide open
we overflow the tile platform
rushing the escalators and stairs
a reverse waterfall