post 6 a
"There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me.
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea. "
-From "Prufrock", TS Eliot
it's what i long for.
yet - the problem with choice is the responsibility of having made it, the responsibility of the effects of the choice.
i think as an american i want choice but don't want responsibility
i'll eat my cake but i don't want all those calories
i want to break the rules and not be punished
i want to escape and be free
thus i am indecisive
but responsibility is the given - if i am not responsible then someone else will ultimately be
and then i'd live in fear of reprisal in the intangeable eye of justice -
omnipresent, patient, precise
mercy mercy mercy
please please please
so to be different than that i have to think
i have to be willing to accept the results of choice
i have to feel pain and heal
i have to stand up
i have to open my eyes
i have to live
i suppose there isn't really a choice in this matter...